(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner

[kuru]

What’s the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang up the painting.

Random time traveller: "Challenge accepted."

 

[Git1]

How do you keep someone in suspense?

Spoiler

...

 

[Null]

Why did the one-armed man cross the road?
To get to the second hand shop.

 

[Null]

Guess who I bumped into on my way to the optician?
Everyone.

 

[Null]

How does the Pope shop online on Cyber Monday?
With his Papal account.

 

[Null]

What’s the difference between an American school bus and a D-Day landing craft?
They wait for you to leave the school bus before opening fire.

 

[Null]

 

[Null]

Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.

 

[Null]

Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars?
Their days are numbered.

 

[Null]

This morning, Siri said, “Don’t call me Shirley.” I accidentally left my phone in Airplane mode.

 

[TeDaDeS]

I liked Lelslie Nielsen and that genre of weird humor.

 

[Null]

A man went to see a psychiatrist and told him, “No one understands me.”
The psychiatrist replies, “What do you mean by that?”

 

[pyrat]

A man went to see a psychiatrist and told him, “Nobody loves me.”
The psychiatrist replies, “That's right. Next patient, please? ”

 

[Null]

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Recursion.
(Recursion who?)
Knock, knock.

 

[Null]

I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.

 

[Null]

Which martial art is mainly practiced in Israel.
Jewjitsu.

 

[TeDaDeS]

Lazy joke and just skipping to the punch-line: "A can't opener".

 

[Null]

How did the enthusiastic man eat his hot dog?
With relish.

 

[Null]

My parents sent me to mime camp one summer.
I still can’t talk about it.

 

[TeDaDeS]

Mime camp is apparently a thing...
I guess I didn't know as I never heard about it.